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All reviews - Movies (31) - TV Shows (7) - Games (8)

The Green Inferno review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 23 January 2016 11:27 (A review of The Green Inferno)

TAKE A BITE OF HUMAN FLESH

Torture gore porn. Characters were stupid and made unnecessary things like jerking off because of being scared or shitting diarrhea. Practical effects were good, minus the CGI ants.


SHARED WITH FRIENDS!

Users: hsallinen & Cuomi




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73rd Golden Globe Awards review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 23 January 2016 10:45 (A review of 73rd Golden Globe Awards)

AND THE GOLDEN GLOBE GOES TO....

Ricky Gervais should host every award show. Hes just so honest and truthful when it comes to entertainment business and people in it. Not saving hes words. Not at all.
Major of globes went for the right people. Special congratulations to:
Sylvester Stallone for Creed
Leonardo DiCaprio for The Revenant
Matt Damon for The Martian
Jennifer Lawrence for Joy
Alejandro González Iñárritu for The Revenant
The Revenant for Best Picture, Drama
The Martian for Best Picture, Comedy (Which wasn't a comedy by the way)
Inside Out For Best Animated Film
Ennio Morricone for Best Score

Next, the Oscars!!!


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Beach Bounce review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 23 January 2016 10:40 (A review of Beach Bounce)

GIRLS! SEX! NUDITY!
ARE THERE ENOUGH REASONS TO PLAY OR EVEN MAKE A VIDEO GAME?

On my opinion, it definitely is! But it also need little bit more than that for sure.
Example last year game Huniepop was a great Hentai-like game. You get to choice how to approach girls. Be a total bouchebag and drive them away, or be a gentle sweetheart and win them over and be a modern day Casanova. To do this, you needed to play candy crush style of game to receive certain points what reflect everyone's own personality. Get to know them by several dates for a later pop guizzes. Buy gifts and flatter them which reply their point of intrests. After ALL that work, they reward you with love and sex.
This game was half less than Huniepop.
First of all, there wasn't any gifts to buy or mini games to play which would've been great addition for a few activities that i experienced in the game with a date. You had almost zero choices to make between conversations. Either fuck her or don't. That's about it.
Secondly, there wasn't almost any sounds in the game. Only several listenable scores that brightened the mood. No voice acting. No gasps, moans or squeals during sex. Even the diners doorbell didn't get a tone. There was just lines after lines text to read. Tons of dialogue isn't a bad thing, not at all. Personally i love dialogue that i can't get enough of it, but the text was SO suggestive after introductions had been made between main character and the girls. It was clearly that a man write this game. The story was like a fantasy from the mind of a teenage boy. These girls must've been pop a jar of hormone pills before breakfast, because they were horny as fuck and almost fall right into your arms after first meeting. There's nothing bad with that but there wasn't any challenges to get in to their pants, because the story leads you straightly there. Altough there was this one chick who didn't trust or liked you and i'd though she's a hard to catch. But she was the SECOND screw that you had in this beach holiday resort where this game took place.
Last of all, the playable character and passing by people like the resort cook or other employee's didn't even get models. The backgrounds, which were only few, was blank when they talked to the character. Only models in this game was the girls, but they hardly had a few positions to appear or faces to make. Frankly the action on the screen was changing still photos and yes, the nude scenes were hot.

My recommendation on this game is, that don't pay the full price for it. Wait for the sales or watch it on Youtube, but i think it's censored over there by gamers because "no nudity" rule so no intimate parts.
I will recommend to play Huniepop if you're into Hentai-like/Dating/Sex games and it's even one third of a cord cheaper than Beach Bounce.
The game isn't finish yet, so it's hard to rate and review it fully. When the last episodes come i will surely finish it, but before that my first impression of this game was this.


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Assassin's Creed: Syndicate - Jack the Ripper (DLC) review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 23 January 2016 10:35 (A review of Assassin's Creed: Syndicate - Jack the Ripper (DLC))

JACK THE RIPPER WAS AN ASSASSIN....!?

I think we all know the horrible story of the unknown man, who brutally murdered five prostitutes at the end of the 19th century London. Or maybe there was more, who knows....?
First downloadable content of the Assassin's Creed: Syndicate, one of my favorite game franchises of all time, was not only a good game but interesting viewpoint what else Jack The Ripper might have been when he terrorized London in 1888.
First of all, i was thrilled when i watched the trailer and saw that Evie is the playable character. I fell in love with her when she and her brother Jacob were introduced to us in the newest installment and at the end of the game, she tooked her place one of mine favorite characters in the Assassin's Creed universe. She's not only insanely beautiful but also strong-willed, funny, determined, likeable and good with the cane and fists.
After when i played the first Mass Effect (also one of my favorite, if not the best game franchises ever) for the first time and choiced to play it by female Shepard, (THE RIGHT ONE, by the way) womenhood and heroines in games striked me and i wanted to play more games were the playable character was female. Same goes to movies too. I think it is so bad ass when strong willed girls are kicking bad guys butts and it's about time that the game industry are bringing more females in games, considering that the forty nine percent of the players are ladies.
But back to the review.
London was little bit updated since we last saw it. There was snowing and the main characters were twenty years older. Whitechapel and City Of London are the areas where this story took place plus two new areas and one familiar. Evie had these new kind of iron rings on her wrist (probably some kind of weapons in India where she came from beginning of the game) on which she can beat the shit out of bad guys. Outfit with colours, pistols and brass knuckles were all new. They even updated new kinds of side quests which were interesting and fun to play. Thous were typical AC side quests so don't wait something highly new. Chests, helix glitchs and historical posters was also there for us collectible junkies.
Story was well written. It was interesting to see how they attached Jack to our heroes and step to hes boots couple of times and swing the blade. Updated detective mode was a desired plus and the end fight was riveting and thrilling. Little bit different than the previous ones. Graphically the game looked beautiful, like always. Also Bear McCreary, one of my favorite composers, made the score and it sounded awesome. I love hes work!
The game doesn't offer anything new besides the story and side activities, but as a fan of the franchise i highly recommend to play it. You don't lose a thing to do so.


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Little Dead Rotting Hood review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 22 January 2016 08:27 (A review of Little Dead Rotting Hood)

DIDN'T HUFFED AND PUFFED

This movie was bad and not even a good way. Acting was terrible, effects were horrible and directing didn't pulled off either.
I love shitty movies. I realy do. I think it's a great movie ''genre'' and those are fun to watch when you don't like to see anything heavy. But even those movies need to done right.


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24: Live Another Day review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 21 January 2016 07:10 (A review of 24: Live Another Day)

NEW THREAT, SAME OLD JACK

And so the ride has ended and now he can finaly rest. Thank you for your services Jack! It's been a wild journey.
Finaly get the chance to check this out and it become one of my favorite seasons of Twenty Four.
I'm a huge twenty four fan. It's one of the best series ever made because of its realistic look, situations, drama, characters and awesome action. Every season is thrilling, interesting and always keeping us on the edge of our seats till the end and it still leaves us hanging and wanting more.
I started watching the show beginning of the fourth season and i got hooked immediately. The show has made me laugh and cry. It has given me many chills and countless FUCK YEAH moments. It has also given us one of the greatest villains and heroes ever in television or movies and this season didn't betray us either on those parts.
Michelle Fairley from Game Of Thrones was a great villain. One of the best in the whole series. She was ruthless against people and also her own family. Her agenda was clear and she didn't let anybody steps on her way to ruin it.
Yvonne Strahovski from Chuck and Mass Effect was awesome as well. Her character become one of my favorite supporting characters on the series. She was intelligent agent and always one step behind Jack when she was trying to catch him. In other words she was female version of Jack Bauer but not at first. When the show moved forward she started to change more like him. And let's face it, if you're going to save the day like Jack, you need to break a few rules. And also be a total BAD ASS at the same time, even if it makes you look bad.
It's always sad when your favorite show is coming to the end. It was sad when it ended four years ago and it was sad now too. The end was good. It was sad and i wanted it to be ended otherwise, but it was the right way to close the show. The decisions what Jack made throughout the seasons and the actions that he tooked leaded to this and it was acceptable way to go.

Only have one advise for you: WATCH THIS SHOW!
You won't be disappointed.


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A Walk in the Woods review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 19 January 2016 12:01 (A review of A Walk in the Woods)

FRIENDSHIP IS A GREAT THING TO HAVE

This was a heart warming movie. A story of two old friends who haven't seen each others in years and they're going to catch up the lost time while hiking 2,100 mile long Appalachian Trail.
First of all the locations were incredible beautiful. I love these kinds of movies, because they always get me in the good mood and want to go outside to see the world. Infact we all should do that. To see our planet where we have born to.
Soundtrack was well crafted. Very peaceful songs.
Main leads were great. Nick Nolte and Robert Redford are in my favorite actors list and on screen you can see their chemistry.
Movie remind us to appreciate our friends and nature. We can't demolish either of them, because both of them are very important to have, if we are going to live happy and healthy life.


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Raze review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 18 January 2016 09:31 (A review of Raze)

TALK TO THE FISTS

Holy shit was this movie gory and violent. Fights were very realisticly done, same as the effects and sounds. It was very disturbing to watch when girls are beating the crab out of each others. Somehow it's not the same as guys doing it, but maybe it's that because we are use to see them like these fragile flowers. Never underestimate a woman you guys.
Zoe Bell was Bad Ass with a big B and A!


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The Visit review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 18 January 2016 02:49 (A review of The Visit)

OUR GRANDPARENTS LOVES US SO MUCH

This was a good film from M. Night Shyamalan since The Signs (2002. He has given us pretty shitty movies lately, but this one need to be checked out.
Performances were great, especially Deanna Dunagan who played Nana but the kids pulled their own parts as well.
Mood was creepy. Got few chills and scares on certain points. Twist was acceptable but not mind blowing. Wasn't any of that The Village (2004) moderntime reveal, or Devil (2010) type of shit, where jam sandwich can tell is the devil present by dropping it on the floor upside down. Holy mama was that a lame one.
But yeah, check this out if you like horror movies. It's definitely worthy of your time.


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The Walk review

Posted : 1 year, 5 months ago on 16 January 2016 09:04 (A review of The Walk)

ARE YOU SCARE OF HEIGHTS?

Honestly, only the walk part was interesting scene on the movie, but it was worth of watching. Other scenes were only fillers but beside that, this movie looked very beautiful and gorgeous. It was crazy but brave deed what Philippe Petit did walking cross and back and back again the Twin Towers. Sometimes it's incredible what man can do. Joseph Gordon-Levitt did a great job on hes role. One of his best performances i've seen in a while. He made me grib on my seat while performing the walk. Score was beautiful and effects were breathtaking. Would love to see this in 3D as well. Experience would be much better, in fact i recommend to see it in 3D!


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